Let's Talk About It
I created this kit to open up the conversation that so many of us are apprehensive about, but so desperately want and need: the conversation about our female anatomy, sexuality, and femininity.
My intention was to launch this congruently with the election of the first female president, but life has unpredictable moments. But it has become very clear to me that this conversation needs to happen now more than ever. It is time we gather among other women, literally take our womanhood into our own hands and be empowered creating our intentional purpose with our femininity. We get to claim our own worth and what it means to us being a woman at this time in history.
We all were brought up with different stories that we associate with our vulvas. Stories about our periods, pregnancy, sex, and being a woman. Some stories that were never told, but which we felt, lurking behind closed doors. From questioning both our lack of desire or having too much desire, to struggling with body image, to embracing ourselves after having children or other life changes, to feeling proud of our womanhood in this world, to experiencing abuse or objectification . . . All of which shaped who we are today, how we present ourselves in this world as women and sexual beings.
A stitch at the right time saved me.
The thing about stitching is you don’t have to do it. You choose to do it.
Truly, there’s no urgent need to pick up a needle and thread. You don’t do it because it’s the only way to get clothes or a blanket or some other fiber thing. You do it because you have a vision of something you want to create, something that can’t be bought, a one of a kind article that you will gift someone or will place with intention in your own dwelling.
No matter what you’re making or for whom you’re making it, stitching is a labor of love.
At a time when I felt like I had no direction, I found solace in stitching. I had no idea what to do with my life or where I might fit into this world, but I knew the ideal place for an oddball printed fabric in a quilt. Stitching was something I could navigate.
During this time, I struggled to love myself, so I loved those around me and showed this through stitching for them. I remember thinking that I could never make something for myself, that it would take up too much time, but I had no problem spending months crafting something for a friend or family member. Each stitch sewn for a friend felt like a little love note from me to her.
I stitched my way through a dark time when I felt I had nowhere to turn. I stitched my way through chronic pain and imagined stitching when my hands hurt too badly to hold the needle. I stitched my way through each one of my pregnancy losses. I finally stitched my own daughter’s quilt, then her sister’s, and the dresses each of them have worn.
But this Craft Your Coochie Kit? This is different. Stitching a vulva isn’t a labor of love for someone else. It’s only for you, to appreciate and receive.
A year ago at an event with other entrepreneurial women, I was asked to bring something that represented my superpower. And I thought, well, my vulva, of course.
My initial idea was that my vulva represented my superpower to help make uncomfortable conversations feel cozy and accessible.
But it wasn’t until I actually started crafting it and was flooded with my stories about how this part of me shaped who I was at nearly every step of my life, that I realized that the vulva and my vagina didn’t represent a superpower. It was one. For me and every woman. All of my stories—from wanting approval, to finding my sexual pleasure, to shame, to assault, to love and connection, to vulnerability and courage, to the canal from which I conceived, lost life, and brought forth life—tucked in this soft pouch I was making. Each stitch threading appreciation for all that has been and setting love and intention for all that was to come.
My little craft project had turned into something so much bigger, and I want to share it—the solace of stitching, the fun of making, the healing and empowerment of crafting new stories about being a woman.
My hope is that all of us women can take our vulvas, our vaginas, our pussies, our coochies, our vajayjays, our hoo-haws, our sex into our OWN hands. Making them part of us, embracing our whole selves, and sewing new stories as gifts to ourselves and those around us.
The Craft Your Coochie Kit is an Opportunity
- To re-create the story you have about your vulva, to look at what stories you’ve been told and influenced by, to consider your pleasure, and to ask yourself what you long for—all so that you can build a healthy, empowered relationship with this part of you.
- To identify what you want moving forward—compassion, acceptance, voice, or courage, for instance—and stitch by stitch, to intentionally thread this desire into the making of your vulva.
- To connect in sisterhood with other women’s stories and through stitching and sharing offer support and encouragement for other women to blaze their new path with their vulvas
- To feel empowered in embracing your womanhood at a time in history when the messages say otherwise
A Look Inside the Coochie Kit
- Fabric, rickrack, needle, and thread needed to craft your coochie. (Group packages come with additional pieces and embellishment)
- Choose one (out of 4) gemstone beads for the clitoris. Each gem has a different meaning (please see below for choices)
- Pattern pieces and directions for assembly.
- One small heart card to write a word or love note to yourself, then carefully tuck it into the folds of your sensual creation.
- Thoughtfully crafted directions to expand this simple activity into an intentional and mindful endeavor, to inspire releasing old stories and stepping into a more empowered one. This includes journal prompts for you if you choose to stitch solo, or discussion prompts if you purchase the group package.
Stitch alone or together, for fun or for healing? Or all of the above?
This recreation and re-creation can be done and enjoyed on your own. And, if possible, I encourage you to stitch amongst your sister friends.
Whether or not you’re ready to take this craft to a healing level, this is also just a really fun thing to do with the ladies in your life. I mean, come on! You’re sewing a freaking vulva after all--can’t imagine that being a snoozer!
And you’ll be surprised how it can allow what could be an awkward or difficult subject to become an easy and enjoyable conversation. Soft and supple, just like what you’re crafting, and, of course, just like your coochie.
From ancient times and across almost all cultures, women have gathered and stitched, sharing tears and laughter in intimate circles of creation. Why not let your next gathering with women be one where you not only make something, but also talk about the things that maybe your “social self” is a bit scared to voice, the things that only your women friends will understand? Enlivened and supported by other women, you can each create something new, rich with intention, vulnerability, and love. And if your friends are anything like mine, lots of laughter and maybe some tears, and obviously, wine.
Stitching and crafting has the added benefit of giving your mind a physical activity to focus on and a place to direct emotional energy that may, at times, feel big. Plus, as you craft your coochie, you’re creating a physical reminder for yourself of your intention and what you hope to cultivate.
My Big Vision
I created this product to bring more awareness to this important conversation, and, of course, to let the coochie crafting begin!
My big picture vision is to turn this simple product into a movement, in which women everywhere can take the time to stitch with intention a new relationship with this powerful part of themselves.
I invision women’s circles already happening using these kits to complement their already important work. I’ll also help spread the word to women who wouldn't normally have this conversation, women who might be riddled with shame from religious or family upbringings, and encourage tentative steps toward embracing this part of themselves.
I picture bringing this product into book clubs, postpartum groups, loss of pregnancy/newborn groups, to women struggling with infertility, to LGBT communities, to rape centers, and abortion support groups.
So you know, just small aspirations.
In my eyes this isn't simply a craft it is a movement of empowerment and and celebration of womanhood.
What I know is that a big, beautiful quilt comes together stitch by stitch. I trust in small beginnings for large creations.
Instead of just living with the stories we’ve been handed, having our bodies defined and shaped by others, I want to put the power of crafting these stories into the hands of women. So we can choose what to make of ourselves.
And you can help by being part of the first step of this movement. If you are interested in using this kit please get in contact with me directly!